IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
