You work out of a Hotel?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize