What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
