The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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