i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
