If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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