you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
