I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
