I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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