Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
