Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
