The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
