these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
