If that was your dad, he is hot
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
ttyl tear gas
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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