I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
