If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
