I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
