i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
