dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
