I am puke
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
