You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i dont even know how to be here
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
