I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
