Kiss
Puke
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
