So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
