Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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