is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
