Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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