After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
