did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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