There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
