A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
