Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
