Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
