Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So vagazzling was a success
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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