dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
