He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have aggressive nipples.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
