What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
