Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
