nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
