how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He did a backflip because drugs
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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