apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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