I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
