I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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