Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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