It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
