How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
