Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
