At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
