ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
