its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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