like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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