so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My penis needs a shock collar
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
