If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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