Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
