Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
try to milk me bitch
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