just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
