you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
